ARTICLES & STORIES
I Remember What She Said in Circle
By Ronita Johnson
When she shared what the year had been like for her. A year of planning,
scheduling, knowing, looking forward to doing…and then suddenly
without warning an interruption, a major interruption. A film that
came over her eye that she tried to wipe away, thinking that it could
be captured in a tissue and thrown away like a wild hair caught in
the corner and then tossed.
But here she was with the light shining in one eye and then the other;
that bright light that illuminates all that we can’t see with
the naked eye. That light of truth that says, I don’t think
you’ll be taking a train, or a boat or a plane. I don’t
think you’ ll be frolicking with your daughter, your son, your
nieces or brother.
And there the suitcases sat. Full and ready for the journey,
wondering to themselves – what happened to her jolly self. And
the clothes – the latest styles of pink and turquoise sat, wondering
what happened to her jolly self. You mean we’re not going
to be worn? Oh I can just imagine the chatter that filled each
piece of luggage. And his luggage shouted over to her luggage
with a genuine concern “do you all know what’s going on,
where is she?” It’s time to rock and roll!
And there she sat, as the DOC said, “Oh honey you’re not
going anywhere.” Not today or tomorrow or next week or
next month. And, Oh, you mean listening to Dallas on the TV – eyes
can’t even take looking at that TV screen.
What shock
and dismay would befall her. Not me she would proclaim. And
there she was lying face up and then face down and then face down again.
The memories of what was to be danced playfully, messing with her mind-
having her think she could be up and at um in no time. Oh just
a little interruption!
UM, I guess it’s time to get traveling insurance. Something I
think she never thought would be uttered from her mouth.
But the reality was, time had marched by, what a surprise. Where
had the 80 years gone? Surely, she thought she would always be
able to do whatever she wanted to do anytime she wanted to do it. After
all she had her health – all of her health.
And now, one eye seemed blurred most of the time and the other one
tired after 20 minutes of trying. Oh what was to become of all
those beloved books! The freedom that she once knew with her
foot on the pedal, as she lowered down the top of her convertible,
while the wind blew her golden brown hair, this she would not know
again.
She was dependent – oh what a thought, to think that she actually
needed others.
While ending her recent visit, her daughter made a quick stop and gifted
her with a necklace full of bubbles. She wore them on her neck
and blew them to others. As she passed them around the circle and we
puckered up to blow, we were reminded with the wet residue, of the
joy that can come from the tiniest gift of laughter.
And now I am reminded to give back to her what she has given to me
over and over again. Drive over real soon with that top down,
pick her up and give her that sensation once again – of the wind
blowing in her hair. She’ll probably wear those leather pants;
you know the sexy ones! Make sure I stop just at the right time,
so that cute guy in the next lane, the one with the sunglasses looks
over at her, and with a smiling glance says “Sweetheart, you
are way cool.”
I love you Nancy!